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He has long range plans to emigrate to Europe–Italy or Belgium–where there are open gay communities.

“I want to study there and find a good job and a boyfriend without it being a secret,” he said with a mix of frustration and hope.

In Tunisia gay life has many faces: from secretive post-marital same-sex-not-gay quickies among straight husbands, to ongoing pre-marital youth same-sex-not-gay with friends, to totally gay friendship networks among different age peers, to monogamous boyfriend couples to discrete liaisons from the internet.

It is not easy to label the ‘scene’ here because it is not organized, not open, not admitted, yet it’s cruisy, sexy, internet-connected and quite populous. During my visit I chatted with two very different gay men, one a young student at a local university and the other a retired Italian resident of Tunis now self-employed. Ari, a university student studying architecture, and I met at tea time and had creamy thick hot chocolate at a trendy modern coffee shop and later went for pizza across the street.

Despite the early hopes of the Tunisian political revolution of 2011 subsequent elections brought an Islamist party to majority power due mostly to the secularists splintering into separate parties and unable to unite. More than one gay person believes the former authoritarian government was at least more tolerant of LGBT citizens than the present one.

One said the ousted president Ben Ali was privately tolerant of LGBT people as long as they didn’t get involved in politics.

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His major complaint is having to hide his truth and feeling negatively judged by society.

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