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One thing that a lot of people can get hung up on is whose ‘fault’ the end of the previous relationship was.You may feel like you did everything to save the relationship while your partner did nothing.Being able to acknowledge and accept our part in both the making and the breaking of the relationship can help us to understand what we’re good at in relationships - and what we perhaps find difficult.
It’s not always easy, but when it comes to the end of a relationship, it can be useful to accept that responsibility is usually at least partly shared.
While it wouldn’t be realistic to say that every split is 50 50, it’s often the case that both members of the couple contributed in some way towards the conditions through which the relationship ended.
Being able to explain feelings and get different perspectives can be a really useful way of beginning to understand why you have these feelings.
And sometimes understanding them – even if they stay painful to think about – can be the start of letting them go.
At Relate, we commonly see single people for one-to-one counselling.
Our counsellors can talk to you about your relationship history and help you think about any issues you’re finding it hard to deal with – things left over from the past and your fears for the future.
The first thing to say is: don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Sometimes it’s better to take things one step at a time.
You might like to start by simply trying to be more social.
So feel proud that you’re willing to take that step.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating